Confidence

Confidence is always something that I have particularly struggled with, whether it was in my abilities or just generally within myself. Of course everyone has moments where they may not feel that confident about something however, I feel as if I have let this hold me back quite a lot in my teenage years. Since coming to university in September my confidence has grown tremendously which is partly due to me having to rely on myself much more and finding out I can in fact do things on my own. However, it is also due to the people I've surrounded myself with, the new lifestyle that I have adopted and new attitudes that I've tried to develop. 

During my time at school I was never very confident with my achievements, always doubting myself and my capabilities, only to realise quite a lot of the time that I actually could do more than I thought I could. A huge factor in helping to build my confidence was the people that I had around me, especially one of my teachers that I think got a bit frustrated with my lack of self belief in the last year of school. Having someone that believed in me even when I didn't and predicting me grades that I thought would never be possible was in fact a huge driver for me and a great achievement when I actually did manage to get these grades. 

I've always been very self concious of my image and looks, which is probably very irrational because everyone is different, but sometimes you just cant help comparing yourself to others. Recently, I have come to learn that you're only as confident as you let yourself be, "you are confined only by the walls that you build yourself". One tip that I would give is to embrace your differences, try out new things and never, ever compare yourself to others. Even if its just buying a piece of clothing that you thought you couldn't pull off or a new shade of lipstick, you'll never know until you try it!

From all these experiences I've come to realise that having goals and ambitions are a huge help in building your confidence and self belief, even if they are difficult at times. The feeling that you get when you reach these is definitely worth it, and of course you may not always fully reach your potential but these experiences are ones that push you even more to get where you want to be in life. 

I am still desperately trying to improve my confidence because at times I still have those moments where I feel down about things, such as maybe not doing as well on a test as I could have, or not pushing myself to step outside of my comfort zone. However, I think it is always important to remember that no one is perfect and you need to take a moment to actually reflect and look back at how far you've come and how much you have achieved. I've come to realise that in fact having some time to yourself is a good thing, because overworking yourself and trying to do something every minute of every day may not actually be the best idea in the long run. The first step in self growth is to truly value and take care of yourself. 

Thank you for reading! I hope this gives you some 'food for thought' in trying to become more confident, or even just making sure you take time to think and relax. 

A reflection...

Happy New Year! I hope you had a wonderful, fun filled Christmas and New Year, and are raring to go for the year ahead. 

I thought I'd take the opportunity to reflect upon the last year, as 2015 was truly an unforgettable one for sure. I started off 2015 a bit sceptical as the past three years hadn't been the greatest after suffering a few losses. However, I bounced back and made some amazing memories, and lived life to the fullest really. 

2015 was the year that I'd finish school and although I was sad to leave my little bubble of friends in my home town I couldn't wait for the next steps in my life to begin, and in my mums words "University has been the making of me". Which I suppose is quite true, I've learnt how to relax more and not get so agitated at the little things and just enjoy going out and having fun with my friends, instead of staying at home and getting stressed over the workload. Don't get me wrong, I always loved school and although, I found the last year very stressful I couldn't have wished for a better fourteen years where I met some amazing people who I will be friends with for the rest of my life, for sure. 

However, after living my life a bit more in the past three months I've come back home to my friends being able to enjoy it a bit more with them too, instead of being the 'old' uptight me who virtually rejected anything fun because I was too anxious. Despite this, the hard work that I put into my studies in the last four years of my time at school really did pay off and I managed to get the grades not only that I had dreamed of, but also the grades that I needed to get into Uni. However. I think you do always need to keep in mind that academic success isn't the key to every door in life, and there are many many other pathways that you can take, that sometimes schools forget to show you. 

In amongst all this change one thing remained constant, and that was my love for music. Of course 2015 bought many more gigs and enabled me to see my favourite band twice, and even get into the second row at the O2 arena (after a good 10 hour, freezing wait). Now those experiences I will never forget, with the freedom you feel being fully immersed within a crowd of people who love the same thing as you. As well as this I was lucky enough to see Kodaline, Port Isla, Jessie J, The Coronas and Hudson Taylor live too, which were all amazing, and I cannot wait to see Kodaline again this year, along with seeing Hozier as well later this month. 

This past year also bought two amazing holidays. One with five of my close friends from school, in Crete, and the other in Ireland with my parents. Both of these holidays were truly amazing, and were great experiences....different experiences.....but both great! 

My holiday with my friends was an eye opener to the stress that planning a holiday can bring, and the problems you can face when you arrive but we made the most of it and had a blast. Although, at the time I wasn't a massive party animal venturing into the town of Malia on a couple of nights out was a funny and interesting experience that you should probably do at least once in your life, just for a laugh really! We had many relaxing days by the pool, adventures out in the local town with a few too many cocktails and waffles in our favourite bar 'Akti', as well as having the opportunity to visit the beautiful Chrissi Island. Sharing this experience with some of my friends really taught us a lot about each other and probably bought us much closer than we were if anything! One of my friends even mad  a mini Vlog of clips from the week, which is a lovely thing to have which I can look back at in the future and reminisce about the good times that we shared. My mum is also so obsessed with the video and demands that I show all my family members every time they come round, which is quite sweet and amusing. 

As well as this my parents and I visited Ireland, in which none of us had ever been before so we were excited to explore some new places that we'd hears so much about. I think this holiday was the best holiday I've ever been on, and that's quite something to say when I've had quite a few amazing holidays in Florida, Portugal, Majorca and Greece. Visiting the city of Belfast was such an eye opener and taught me so much about the history of Northern Ireland, that I didn't really know too much about. My dad and I were truly fascinated by the stories that were shared with us, which I feel probably is one of the main factors that made this holiday so important to me. After travelling up the Giant's causeway coastal road  and viewing so many beautiful landmarks we travelled down to Dublin on the train. From being in Temple Bar pub and a musician singing 'Galway Girl', which made me feel like I was In 'P.S. I Love You', to exploring the Guinness Storehouse and  wandering up Grafton Street, we loved our time In Dublin and I really hope that I can return soon. We definitely will be returning to Ireland to continue exploring its beauty, most likely the West Coast after hearing of some amazing landmarks that are a 'must see'. 

The summer of 2015 was the first time that I had a full time job, and in all fairness I worked my socks off all summer, sometimes working eight hours a day, seven days a week. Which may not seem that bad to some people but as someone who wasn't used to working on their feet all day, dealing with customers, and just generally having to be nice all day every day, I did find it quite challenging. However, I feel that this experience really helped my confidence, and most of all made me believe in myself a bit more. I can now truly sympathise with waitresses when they're having to deal with aggravated customers or just generally having a busy day, as I know how tiring and frustrating it can be working in food retail. Although, getting paid at the end of the week was always a great feeling, knowing that I'd worked very hard for my own money, which I think my parents were very pleased that I could finally stop being so dependent on them when I wanted to go out! 

September last year bought the biggest change when I moved in with seven strangers, to a whole new town an hour and a half away from all my family. I can honestly say that moving away from home was one of the most stressful experiences of my life however, the benefits that I have gained from it make that stress so worthwhile. As  well as this It has made me more appreciative of my time with family when I come home, although the  many questions from family as to whether I have a boyfriend yet do get a bit tiring! 

I've excited to see what 2016 has to offer, and am hopeful that it will be just as great as 2015 was. 

Sorry that this post turned into a bit of a ramble, but sometimes I think its important to reflect upon your experiences so you can truly see how far you have come, and appreciate how lucky you are. I hope you enjoy reading my little '2015 story', and I wish you all the best for the next year! 

Thank you for reading ;)  

January 2015

February 2015

March 2015

April 2015

May 2015

June 2015

July 2015

August 2015

September 2015

October 2015

November 2015 

December 2015 

First term of University!

My first term at Reading University is officially over, and I can truly say I've had the time of my life! Not only was settling in and making new friends much easier than I thought, I've had so many new exciting experiences that have made these past three months amazing. 

Although, the workload has sometimes been hard to deal with and has got me down a bit I feel that all the fun times that I've had really outweigh these down moments. I've really surprised myself in how I coped in moving to a new place as I am quite a homely person so I thought moving away from home was going to be much more of a painful experience than it has been. Don't get me wrong I've missed my family and all but having a great group of friends at Uni makes me feel like I'm at home. I've somehow learnt so much about myself, showing that I really do like to be independent, despite my reservations before I left, as well as finding out that I kind of enjoy looking after other people....even if it is a bit annoying sometimes doing other peoples washing up or cooking for them. 

My new group of friends have really made a difference in all this and I have found people that I can really just be honest with and know that they'll listen and understand. As well as this we've found that we can just be sarcastic towards each other all the time and no one will get offended, which just goes to show how comfortable we've become with each other. From day one we were kind of like a little family, and still now we all cook together every night and do our weekly shop together, which actually makes it so much cheaper than doing our own shop. 

Never did I think that I'd end up going out clubbing at least once a week or seeing artists such as Lethal Bizzle or Wilkinson however, I've somehow changed my mindset and just taken every opportunity to  have a good time...and just live a little, because I didn't do much of that before!

My family and friends will probably get very fed up of me talking about uni over the Christmas Holidays however, hopefully they'll understand that this is because I'm just extremely happy with my life at the moment :D

Thank you for reading! 

A few of my favourite memories :)

My 19th Birthday!

Another year has gone by so quickly, which means I'm another year older. This year my birthday seemed to come round ever so quickly I feel like I only turned the awaited 18 just yesterday. This year seems to be much more significant than the last as this is my last year of being a teenager, which even to me sounds very odd! However, this past year has been one of the best yet, with many happy and new experiences it has left me hopeful that this next year will be the same. I can't wait to see what new, fun things being 19 brings me! 

Anyway.....moving on from the deep stuff! As I am at university I decided to spend the weekend at home with my family, as I've never been the type to want to go out with my friends for my birthday I much prefer a family get together, so that's exactly what  I had. The weekend was filled with catching up with friends and family, and eating far too much yummy food. 

However, when I returned to my halls on Monday morning I was greeted with a Happy Birthday banner on my door and many balloons outside in the corridor, which made it so much easier leaving my family again! All my friends we excited to go out for my birthday that evening, and to my surprise they even bought me some presents and made a very funny, yet embarrassing birthday card which was so lovely of them. Now as for the night out all I'm going to say is that I took the phrase 'go hard or go home' a little too literally and ended up having THE worst hangover the next day, which I hope will never ever happen again! But apart from that I had the best night, with the most amazing group of friends I could have wished for. 

Thank you for reading!

Pink Ombre birthday cake

My brothers and I on my birthday

Liv and I at Q club in Reading 

Birthday Banner! 

The Coronas

 As you may already know I  seem to have a theme in my music taste which is that all of my favourite bands are from Ireland. So following this theme, last Friday I went to see The Coronas in Shepherds Bush Empire. 

I have only been a fan of their music since earlier this year, but have wanted to see them live ever since. They truly did not disappoint the atmosphere within the venue was electric, and the addition of Hudson Taylor as their special support act made the night even more amazing. 

What made the night even more unforgettable was Danny (the main singer) crowd surfing at the end, as I have never seen a band do that, so it was quite fun to watch. 

Having the chance to catch up with one of my friends from school was great as we hadn't seen each other in over 2 months, so it was nice to hear what she had been up to while I've been at university. As well as this being able to spend a weekend at home was definitely needed after having a very stressful week, so having time to myself with my family really helped me de-stress and comeback to university more motivated than I was previously. 

Thanks for reading!